1. Start Conversations With Curiosity, Not Judgment
Tweens are in a stage where they’re testing independence, so avoid jumping straight to criticism when they share something. Instead, ask questions like, “What made you feel that way?” or “Can you tell me more about that?” This opens the door for dialogue rather than defensiveness.
2. Set Clear Boundaries (And Stick to Them -That’s the Hard Part!)
While tweens crave independence, they still need structure. Agree on non-negotiables, like screen time limits or chores, and explain the “why” behind your rules. Consistency helps them feel secure, even if they push back.
3. Focus on the Positive Moments
It’s easy to let eye rolls or attitudes overshadow the good things. Make it a habit to notice and praise positive behaviors, like when they help a sibling or work hard on a project. A little acknowledgment can go a long way in keeping your relationship strong.
4. Create Space for Them to Be Themselves
Alone time in their bedrooms with the doors shut becomes a new activity that moms are not used to. Explain in a calm, loving way that you still want to spend time with them and plan fun activities but allow them to be alone too. Tweens are figuring out who they are, so encourage their interests—even if they don’t match yours. Whether it’s learning a new skill, joining a club, or exploring a quirky hobby, let them know you’re proud of them for being brave and trying something new.
5. Don’t Take It Personally
Mood swings and grumpy attitudes are part of growing up, not a reflection of how they feel about you. When things get tense, take a breath and remind yourself, “It’s not about me—it’s about them figuring out life.”
I am on a mission to show tweens just how incredible they are, just the way they are! These “in-between” years can be extremely challenging for everyone. I know, I had 6 kids! For more information on empowering your tween, visit my website at https://cedarhillstudios.com/tweens