Have you ever heard a girl you love say something about herself that just stopped you in your tracks?

Maybe she looked in the mirror and pointed out something she didn’t like. Maybe she came home upset because her friends left her out. Or maybe she told you she didn’t want to try something because she was afraid she wouldn’t be good at it.

And you’re sitting there thinking, If only you could see what I see.

You see her kindness. Her funny little personality. The way she cares about people, comes up with the most creative ideas, or keeps going when something is hard.

But she may not see those things in herself. Instead, she might be focused on what she thinks is wrong with her or how she compares to everyone else.

That’s one of the reasons I care so much about helping girls ages 9 to 12 build confidence. These girls are at such an important age. They’re growing up, friendships are changing, and they’re starting to wonder where they fit in.

I want them to know they don’t have to be like everyone else to be amazing. They already are.

How My Passion for Tween Empowerment Began

For years, I’ve photographed families, and I started noticing something that really bothered me.

Young girls would come in for their family sessions and make comments about things they didn’t like about themselves. They were already picking apart their appearance and comparing themselves to others.

These were girls who were still so young! I began holding Tween Empowerment Photo Experiences to celebrate their inner qualities too and it just took off from there. I saw how much girls this age group were struggling.

I kept thinking about how many women I’ve known who have spent years struggling to see their own beauty and worth. And I wondered what might happen if we could reach girls earlier, while they’re still growing and learning what to believe about themselves.

I wanted to give them a place to talk about the things they were going through, connect with other girls, and hear how much they matter.

So I started holding local empowerment experiences for girls ages 9 to 12. The response was incredible. Moms began sharing how much their daughters needed this kind of encouragement, and spots filled up quickly. You can see more about my local GA events here: https://tweenempowerment.com/tween-experiences-near-peachtree-city-south-atlanta/

Over the years, I’ve watched girls come in feeling a little unsure and leave with smiles on their faces, new friendships, and reminders of the amazing things about themselves.

And I started hearing from people who lived too far away to bring a girl they loved. They would ask if I had something for their daughters, granddaughters, nieces, or friends who didn’t live nearby.

For a long time, I wished I could say yes.

Now I finally can!

Why Confidence Matters During the Tween Years

Girls ages 9 to 12 are in that in-between stage. They’re not little kids anymore, but they’re still figuring out a lot about themselves and the world around them.

A friendship that felt easy last year might suddenly feel complicated. They might start worrying more about their clothes, their appearance, or whether they’re included. They may compare themselves to girls at school or to what they see online.

And even when everything looks fine from the outside, they may be carrying questions they don’t know how to bring up.

Am I good enough?

Do I belong?

What will people think if I speak up?

I don’t believe we have to look at these years as something to dread. There is so much fun, creativity, and possibility in this age group.

These aren’t the awkward years. They’re the awesome years!

They’re also a wonderful time to help girls build skills they can carry with them: how to be a good friend, how to set a boundary, how to handle a hard day, and how to be kinder to themselves.

5 Ways to Help a Tween Girl Build Confidence

You don’t have to have all the answers. And you certainly don’t have to turn every moment into a lesson. Sometimes the smallest things we say and do can open the door to a really meaningful conversation.

Here are a few ideas to try with your daughter, granddaughter, niece, or another special girl in your life.

1. Tell her what you notice about who she is

Of course we love telling our girls they’re beautiful! But let’s also make sure they hear about all the other things that make them who they are.

Did she include someone who was feeling left out? Did she work hard at something even when it wasn’t easy? Does she have a way of making people laugh?

Tell her!

“I noticed how you made sure she had someone to sit with. That was really kind.”

“I know that was hard, but you kept trying. I’m proud of you for that.”

Sometimes the things we notice in her are things she hasn’t even noticed in herself.

2. Listen before trying to fix it

Oh, this can be a hard one! When a girl we love is upset, we want to make it better right away.

But sometimes she just needs someone to listen first.

The next time she tells you about a problem, you could ask, “Do you want me to listen, or would you like help figuring out what to do?”

If she wants help, talk through the possibilities together. Giving her a chance to think about what she might do can help her feel more prepared the next time something difficult comes up.

3. Give her opportunities to make decisions

Confidence grows through practice, and making choices is one way to practice.

Let her order her own meal, choose how she wants to approach a project, or decide what she wants to wear within the guidelines you’ve set. Give her chances to speak for herself and try things without someone stepping in right away.

And when things don’t go perfectly? Remind her that’s okay. She doesn’t have to get everything right the first time.

4. Be mindful of how you talk about yourself

This one is for all of us!

Our girls hear us when we criticize our bodies, put ourselves down, or say we can’t do something before we even try. And many of us have been doing those things for so long that we don’t even realize it.

We don’t have to pretend we feel confident every day. But we can let our girls hear us be a little kinder to ourselves.

Maybe instead of “I’m terrible at this,” we say, “This is hard for me, but I’m going to keep working at it.”

Those little changes give her another way to respond when she’s feeling frustrated with herself, too.

5. Make time together without making it a big talk

Not every meaningful conversation has to happen face-to-face at the kitchen table.

Some girls are more comfortable talking while they’re doing something else. Take a walk, make something together, bake cookies, or go for a drive. Ask a question and see where it leads.

You might try:

• “What was your favorite part of today?”
• “Was anything hard today?”
• “Is there something you wish grown-ups understood about being your age?”

And if she doesn’t want to talk, that’s okay. Sometimes the best conversations happen when you aren’t trying to have a big conversation at all.

Why I Created Bloom Your Own Way Club

After years of holding in-person experiences, I kept thinking about all the girls I couldn’t reach because they lived too far away.

I wanted to create something meaningful for them, too. Something they would be excited to receive, but that would also give them encouragement they could use in their everyday lives.

That’s why I created Bloom Your Own Way Club, a monthly experience for girls ages 9 to 12, delivered right to their door.

Each month will bring a new theme, with creative projects, meaningful keepsakes, guided online lessons, and activities to help girls navigate the things they’re facing as they grow.

We’ll talk about friendships and boundaries, self-talk and comparison, courage, kindness, gratitude, and what to do when they’re having a rough day.

Girls will create Bloom Cards, reminders for their souls that they can display and come back to when they need them. They’ll also add pages to their Soul Bloom Book each month, filling it with their own words, creativity, and discoveries about themselves.

And there will be opportunities for moms and other caring adults to connect with them along the way, too.

I want this to be something she looks forward to opening. But I also want the things inside to remind her of what’s true long after she’s put the box away.

She can be kind and still say no.

She doesn’t have to look or act like everyone else to belong.

A hard day doesn’t change who she is or how much she matters.

And she is amazing just the way she is.

A Place for You, Too

If you love a tween girl, I know you want the best for her. You want to be there for the fun, silly moments and the hard ones, too.

You might not always know exactly what to say. I don’t think any of us do! But we can keep showing up, listening, and reminding our girls that they don’t have to figure everything out alone.

Here on the blog, I’ll be sharing more ideas and encouragement for the people who love these girls. We’ll talk about confidence, friendships, comparison, connection, and all the things that come with growing up.

I’m so glad you’re here, and I can’t wait to share more with you!

Want to learn more about Bloom Your Own Way Club? Join the waitlist to hear when the first boxes are ready!

Click here https://tweenempowerment.com/confidence-boosters-for-preteen-girls/